Yeah! Right!!

As if I really believe that MTV, CBS, the producers, and Janet Jackson didn't know that Justin Timberlake was planning on removing the cup of Jackson's bustier during the SuperBreast--I mean Bowl halftime show. After all, this *is* the woman who appeared on the cover of Vibe with a nipple ring on the *outside* of her shirt. I mean, come on, do I look that stupid? (That was rhetorical, by the way.)

The big question should not be "Did they know?" Nor should it be "Was this planned?!" No no no no...the BIG question is this: ARE WE FUCKING SURPRISED?! And more importantly, Who CARES?!

And what the hell was SHE thinking? I mean, rubbing your ass up against Justin Timberlake's Uh-Huhs is one thing. But maybe that explains it: if Britney's little (pun fully intended) rumors about Justin's Yeah is true, then maybe rubbing up against it wasn't enough of a thrill for a woman as experienced and long in the tooth as Janet.

But I think there's another, far more sinister explanation, one that has, until now, escaped notice. This SuperBowl half-time show will go down in history not for the bared breast or the possible Hundred-plus millions of dollars in fines ($27,500 *per CBS affiliate* airing the game), but rather for what that flash of NippleFlicker Bling bling unequivocably confirms:

Accident or not, we now know beyond a doubt that Janet and Michael are *two different* people. Unfortunately, we'll need Justin to rip off Michael's pants to know whether or not he's male. But we've had enough excitement for this year. Let's save that little revelation for SuperBowl XXXIV.

Politics, Religion, and the President

I had the privilege last night of meeting several practitioners of the Baha'i faith. Let me tell you, it was most interesting. My family background of civic service and construction not withstanding, the video of the construction of their shrine on Mount Carmel in Haifa was very interesting. But the more interesting facet of my evening with the Baha'i wasn't construction or a seriously involved discussion of the problems plaguing our farce City. It was a single statement the woman giving the presentation made before she ever started. They were forbidden to proselytize.

I was floored. Here I was, invited to a house to hear a discussion of the construction of the Arc Project, and they weren't going to try to convert me?! Forgive me if I become a little suspicious of the water. But it was so refreshing! Living in the neo-facist, Bible-Thumping, God-Is-A-Rich-White-WASP South, I didn't know what to say! And one of the most amazing things happened: I listened!

I think that's the valuable lesson for the evening, and one that our politicos and our President would do good to learn: when you're not trying to convert someone to your cause--be it God or Country, they are more likely to listen to your reasons, your logic, and your ideas.

A stark contrast to my Baha'i experience was the drive home. I passed three signs, two billboards, and a man on a street corner--all proselytizing. No kidding. Twenty-five degrees outside and the man is standing, in the middle of the night, preparing the way of the Lord. Nevermind the fact that Jesus would have enough sense to not stand out in the freezing cold (Garden cave, anyone?) and would not shout at passing cars who, for all intents and purposes, have things other than listen to him scream. He'd pick INTERESTED people. Hey, wait! That's what he did.